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What shall I do with you, O Ephraim?
What shall I do with you, O Judah?
For your loyalty is like a morning cloud
And like the dew which goes away early.
Therefore I have hewn them in pieces by the prophets;
I have slain them by the words of My mouth;
And the judgments on you are like light that goes forth.
For I delight in loyalty rather than sacrifice,
And in the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.
But like Adam, they have transgressed the covenant;
There they have dealt treacherously against Me. Hosea 6:4-7
Most of my book loving friends will be familiar with Anne Lamott, the dreadlock-wearing, uber-progressive author who made headlines with her conversion story many years ago. I know I was surprised. And although she credits a friend of hers, she's also famous for saying:
You can safely assume you have made God in your own image when it turns out that He hates all the same people you hate.
Amen, sister.
But let's take the whole coin and look also at the other side:
You can safely assume you have made God in your own image when it turns out He loves all the same things the world loves. (I John 2:15)
CCM artist Lauren Daigle made headlines of her own this week with her admission that she "doesn't know" if homosexuality is a sin. The quick backstory is that Ellen DeGeneres invited Daigle to sing on her show. And the two women are friends. Who wouldn't want to be friends with Ellen? She's cute as a button and funny as all get out.
She's also gay. So scriptural teaching on homosexuality is causing Daigle some real angst, as it should, once you realize that there are real flesh and blood people you love and that the implications here are horrific. If you can't picture a person you know when you read Leviticus 18 or 1 Corinthians 6, you might not get out enough.
Here's the problem, though, with Daigle's reticence to commit (unless she is truly unschooled in the Word, which I have a hard time believing, considering her lyrics, which are basically sound): Deconversion.
Deconversion is essentially shorthand for: I have weighed Truth in the balance and found it wanting.
What shall I do with you, O Ephraim?
What shall I do with you, O Judah?
For your loyalty is like a morning cloud
And like the dew which goes away early.
Deconversion starts with questions.
Last spring, I printed off the above link on Deconversions and crawled through it with my high schoolers. I asked them if they ever had questions about scripture, if they ever had a hard time with anything they ever read in the Word. They were reluctant to say, so I shared that I did have questions. There are things in the Bible that have offended me, that I have had to wrestle with.
But my starting point is that the Word is holy, inspired, and inerrant. So if I am offended or confused or unconvinced, the error always lies with me, not with the scripture. The only other starting point is that error lies in the Word, and it must be made to submit to Truth as I understand it. One person questions the Word from beneath it; one questions from above.
Therefore I have hewn them in pieces by the prophets;
I have slain them by the words of My mouth;
And the judgments on you are like light that goes forth.
Questioning the Word from underneath makes a woman humble.
Questioning the Word from above make a woman a heretic.
Two things I have learned as a parent. Maybe they will help you, too.
First, it is extremely important to let our kids struggle with the Word of God. You do not want your kid to believe It--whatever It is--just because you believe It. Trust me on that. Wrestling over the Word builds spiritual muscle, and spiritual muscle is a good thing. But it is also extremely important that they wrestle from underneath the Word rather than above it. We want them to love and trust the Word because they love and trust the Author.
Second, teach your kids to press on to know the Lord.
Let me qualify that. Theologian Cornelius Van Til correctly says, exegeting Romans 1, that there are only two types of people:
1. Those who know God and love Him because they have been delivered out of darkness and into His marvelous light.
2. Those who know God and hate Him.
So there is no question that, at bottom, all of our kids know God. The question is whether they love Him or hate Him. But assuming they love Him...
Teach them that God's Word is the final arbiter of Truth. We don't weigh It in the balance; It weighs us. Teach them that when they encounter things in scripture that are counter-intuitive--and they will; boy howdy, they will--that's their flesh speaking. Teach them to bang their head on that passage until God makes it real and true to them.*
To be sure, there are secret things that belong to the Lord. There will always be some things that God holds close to the breast. He is God. That is His prerogative. But there are other things that have been revealed to us, and they are for us and for our children to know.
For I delight in loyalty rather than sacrifice,
And in the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.
But like Adam, they have transgressed the covenant;
There they have dealt treacherously against Me.
What is the antidote to transgression and treachery? Loyalty (I stand with You) and the knowledge of God (I think like You). Knowing the Lord will help us be nuanced where God is nuanced and straightforward where God is straightforward. Not knowing the Lord puts us at risk of making God in our own image, an image that hates what He loves AND loves what He hates.
Lauren Daigle needs to press on to know the Lord, but she is just representative of the rest of us.
We need to press on to know the Lord, too.
And so do our children.
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*I believe it was John Piper who said this, but I can't find the link, so I want to be both careful and cautious in giving credit.
