Woman, You Are Free

Praise God for His mercy and grace, I am a redeemed complementarian. That is evidence of the Holy Spirit at work in me because I know that without Him, I would be a raging feminist. Why feminist? Sadly, it has nothing to do with the world and everything to do with the church. It's a sad story of extremes. Feminism is the world's attempt to re-define femininity. The Church, rightly indignant about this, wrongly swings to the other extreme and responds with misogyny. Feminism engages in men-bashing blaming manhood for the world's ills. The Church simply reverses the approach and blames women, as if that extreme is more Biblical. Then I, who am saddened and angered, embarrassed and hurt, by the Church's response, swing to the other ditch. See the problem?

I am a woman.
For many years, I was exposed to a toxic attitude that communicated that there would be fewer marriage problems and fewer church problems if women would just submit. But as erroneous, ridiculous, and simplistic as that silly assertion is, when that kind of comment is made by real people, it does real damage to real women--like me. More than that, it displays an incredible lack of understanding when it comes to both headship and the Fall. I know this in my head, but it still wounds my heart. I am thankful for my loving, scripturally grounded husband. More than once, my antagonists have come dangerously close to his protective wrath because he has seen the fallout of this deep, deep wound in his otherwise sturdy wife up close.

I am a woman.
I don't fit in your box.
I despise peasant dresses and frills and anything that makes me look like the 'little woman.' (Honestly, I like smart, chic Chanel suits. But I live in the wrong income bracket for those, so I stick to my jeans and tennis shoes.)
I think Art Monk is a more inspiring Christian than Nancy Campbell.
I detest that the default menu for women's functions revolves around raw vegetables instead of red meat. (Allow me to point out that the 'Daniel fast' was named for Daniel, who was a...man.)
I can't stand it when men refer to their bride as 'the wife' like she's the family pet.
I think it's nifty that you enjoy your new serger, but I'm far more impressed that you conceal and carry.

I am a woman.
But for years I have spiritually walked hunched over like the woman of Luke 13 because I did not and do not fit the assumed model of "Christian woman."
Because I've stood by and listened to the incessant berating of my gender by men who, ironically, refuse to submit to Biblical authority themselves.
Because I do not fit all of the possible implications of what Biblical womanhood might look like.
Because I cook...but I am not a nutritionist.
Because I clean...but I hate to sew.
Because I enjoy coffee with a friend...but large assemblies of females and all those hormones and uteri and tear ducts give me a headache.

Recently, I was again feeling the weight of those expectations bending me low. But my God is such an amazing, protective Father. I guess He thought that enough was enough; it was time for me to be free. As if on cue, a friend found an interview with Pastor Voddie Bauchum, who said this:

"True womanhood looks like Proverbs 31, looks like Titus 2, but it's something else. True womanhood looks like Christ. I think that's something we often forget We're so busy looking at these practical lists of the qualities that women have or the things that women do or prioritize. And we forget that true womanhood really only begins when a woman comes to Jesus Christ in repentance and faith. She is transformed and conformed to the image of Christ. So true womanhood is about Christ-likeness."

In that moment, the shackles of other people's expectations, of other people's ill-informed theology, were shattered. The confirmation of something I had always secretly thought, that Christ--not the Titus 2 woman or the Proverbs 31 woman--is my Role Model, washed over me. The sledge hammer of God's Truth set me free. I wanted to leap up and cheer. Hearing a man of God declare what a tiny voice in my soul has been saying for so long...
It was as if Jesus placed His hand under my chin, looked me in the eye, and said, "Woman, you are free."

I am a woman.
I know my role in my marriage.
I know my role in the Church.
But limiting my role as a Christian woman to Proverbs 31 and Titus 2 is sexist and reductionist.
And I am deeply offended by it.
Has anyone read Titus 2?
Do we know that Titus 2 talks about men?
Do we refer to our men as Titus 2 men?
Of course not. That would leave out the other 65 books and hundreds of chapters in the Bible.

I am a woman.
And I aspire to be a Proverbs 31 woman.
I aspire to be a Titus 2 woman.
But you know what?
I also aspire to be a Proverbs 1 woman.
And a Romans 12 woman.
And a Colossians 3 woman.
And a Deuteronomy 28 woman.

I aspire to be a Genesis-to-Revelation woman.

I aspire to be like Christ.

And behold, there was a woman who had a disabling spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not fully straighten herself. When Jesus saw her, He called her over and said to her, "Woman, you are freed from your disability." And He laid His hands on her, and immediately she was made straight, and she glorified God. Luke 13: 11-13