Tuesday, April 14, 2020

Laugh: Thoughts on Living with Uncertainty

I heard someone say this week, "If we are going to put our faith in things other than Christ, the smallest thing possible--a virus--will shake that to the core."

In the wee hours of yesterday morning, Easter morning, we went through the house waking the children and telling them to assemble downstairs. We were under a tornado warning. My six-year-old sat in my lap and put his head on my shoulder. "I'm scared," he whispered. I did not know how to console him; I could not make promises I had no power to keep. But I rubbed his back and prayed silently, "You are the Author of Calamity, and You are able to do whatever You will. I am asking for your mercy. I am asking if you would keep us safe." Twenty minutes later the storm had passed. We were unharmed.

But I have been chewing on the unusual timing. Here we are in the middle of a worldwide quarantine. And you can't seek storm shelter and social distance at the same time. Legitimately huge or unfortunately overblown, God has used this little virus to bring the whole planet to its knees. And then He sent the storm that sent us scurrying for cover where there was little to be found. From Texas to North Carolina.

Can you hear me now?

Funny. On the one hand, Italy and New York City have been hit extremely hard by this virus. On the other hand, we are a month into this, and zero people in my social circle have told me they tested positive. I am not here implying that I have omniscience over the health of every single person of my acquaintance. But, thus far, there is no stigma associated with the virus and, therefore no reason for me to think people are being furtive. And I am not the only one. Zero? A month in?  In different locales?

Funny. On the one hand, I am told that half the people who have it are asymptomatic. On the other hand, responsible science should prevent us from making claims we do not have the ability to verify. Maybe everyone who has the virus is symptomatic. We. do. not. know. And we can not know.

Funny. On the one hand, I stand six feet back during my necessary excursions into the grocery store as a way to respect the fearful and vulnerable. On the other hand, I stand six feet back because this might be legit.

Funny. On the one hand, our family obeys the civil magistrate because that is what believers do. On the other hand, this is a jurisdictional travesty of Kuyperian proportions. Civil government protect personal liberties and punish infringers of said liberties; self-government takes personal responsibility.

Not quite as funny. On the one hand, we keep reminding each other that the second greatest commandment must inform our behavior. Enough already; we get it. It's one thing to present the second commandment for our consideration as we live in this time; it is another thing entirely to position ourselves as the final arbiters of what it actually means to love our neighbor. On the other hand, I have not seen one person present the greatest commandment for our consideration at this time. Not. a. single. soul.

So, yeah, I know little for certain. But I am certain of this:
On the one hand, Jesus is Lord over quarantines and diseases, tornadoes and tyrants. The nations rage, and the Lord laughs. On the other hand, Jesus is Lord of His Creation and of His nation, the Church, and we laugh with Him.

The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law. Deut. 29:29

So laugh at the days to come.
And if you're not laughing? You might just need to repent.

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

But If Not

We interrupt my next planned post to bring you an important message.

One of my adult kids texted me. Romans was really good!
I smile. Indeed it is.
Another one sat at the kitchen table last month and looked up from a meditative silence. You know what's a really good book?
I'm thinking Enger. Or Lee. Or Dostoyevsky.
Galatians.
My 10-year-old is saying with increasing frequency, Wow! I read something like that in the Bible this morning!
My 17 yr old just finished the whole Bible for the first time. That was really good, she exclaimed.
Two enthusiastic thumbs up? I tease. Maybe God will ask you to blurb His next edition.
My heart is warm all over. My children are becoming People of the Book. And I am humbled by God's work in this quiet suburban home.
Because ideas have consequences. And little minds and hearts informed by scripture grow up to make choices and take positions based on the True Ideas of scripture.

Don't think that's important? Read on, Lizzie.

Did you see the news coming out of Bethel "Church" over Christmas break? Let me fill you in.

On December 14, two-year-old Olive Heiligenthal passed away suddenly. Her parents, who are on staff at Bethel, kept her body in the morgue for five days while they prayed for her resurrection. Now I have never buried a child. I cannot, can not, imagine that kind of soul-searing suffering. But I do have a healthy regard for scripture and for the need to read it with great care. It is a sword, after all, and one does not simply go swinging swords about. Jesus did NOT raise people from the dead to be our model. He raised the dead to demonstrate His Lordship. Over every square inch. Over every last enemy.

In short, I have nothing but contempt for the theology of Bill Johnson because Bill Johnson has nothing but contempt for the theology of God. I wonder what will happen on Judgment Day to people who make a shipwreck of other people's faith. *coughrecklesslovecough* I want to be a fly on THAT wall.
Oh, where have you gone, Billy Boy, Billy Boy?
Oh, where have you gone, charming Billy?

Tomorrow you will have pink eye.
I could never believe in a God who makes eyes itch. And the tear duct goop is an added insult. 
The Apostle Paul: God made your eyes. Can He not make them pink? (ND Wilson, Notes from the Tilt-a-Whirl, 32)

Dare I say it?
Yes, I dare.
Boom, baby.

Why am I so passionate about this idiocy now? Don't worry; I nearly bolted out of my chair the day sweet Olive's story hit the headlines. Trust me, I was passionate about it on December 15. But now, it's personal. Last week, we received the double-whammy of bad health news from both sides of our family. Part of me is bummed. Bummed that the sadness of  2019 was fading, and life has to get dicey again. Bummed at pain and sickness. Bummed that living in this fallen world can suck sometimes. Billy Boy would beg to differ. Billy Boy thinks we can be healed if we have enough faith. As in, if I don't get healed--and keep healed--it's MY fault. As in, God needs my faith to make His power work. Ah well, small minds have room only for small gods.

When my son Jake hears people waxing stupid about the sovereignty of God, he gets a glint in his eye. He smirks. He quips, "Oh I see. God's sovereignty ends where my sovereignty begins."
God's sovereignty. So simple, a college freshman can understand it.
But not a charlatan preacher.
Billy Boy will not rob me of resting in God's sovereignty.

And Brett reminded me that there is also golf and pork belly and Montana. There are date nights and family and Wingfeathers. Right there in the middle of bad reports. Common graces that God sends just in time to carry us through. But Billy Boy can't see goodness in calamities.
Billy Boy will not rob me of resting in God's goodness.

And I've a good mind to tell Billy Boy where he can put his bad theology and his angel feathers and his gold dust. But this is a family blog.

Blessed be Your Name when the sun's shining down on me,
When the world's all as it should be, blessed be Your Name.
Blessed be Your Name on the road marked with suffering.
Though there's pain in the offering, blessed be Your Name.*

I'm learning the power of lament. And I want my kids to learn it, too. I want to protect them from the Bethel Koolaid. When I lay me down to sleep, and when I lay my six-year-old down to sleep, we pray.  'Lord, we ask that you would heal them,' we pray, the six-year-old and I. 'But if not, we still love You. And we know that You still love us, and that You still love them.'

But If Not.
The theology of Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego.
The theology of Job.
The theology of Amos.
The theology of the Potter and His pots.
But If Not is the theology of the saints of ages past and ages to come.
But If Not is the theology of People of the Book.
But If Not is the theology of God.

Dear Refuge of my weary soul, on Thee when sorrows rise,
On Thee when waves of trouble roll, My fainting hope relies.
To Thee I tell each rising grief, for Thee alone can heal. 
Thy Word can bring a sweet relief for every pain I feel.**

When those who profess to be God's people reject His word, they can expect God's wrath. (Tabletalk)
Rock on with your bad self, Billy Boy. (Me)

Meanwhile, all God's people say:
But if not, God is still sovereign and still good. The Author of Calamity is still working everything together for my good and His glory.

And all God's people said,
AMEN.

The next post will begin shortly. Please stand by.
--------------
*Blessed Be Your Name, Beth Redman, Matt Redman, 2002.
**Dear Refuge of My Weary Soul, Anne Steele, 1760.

Friday, January 3, 2020

Books! 2019 Reading List

Happy New Year. 59 books. Let's jump right in.

Notes from the Tilt-a-Whirl by ND Wilson. Second annual reading. One of my favorites. Ever. Ever ever.
Before the Door by ND Wilson. Fun prequel to 100 Cupboards. And if you are a regular Wilson reader, you might be surprised by some of the dots he connects here!
Man in the High Castle by Philip Dick. Blech.
Unceasing by Susan Macias. An encouraging reminder to keep praying, no matter how old they get!
Triumph of the Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy.
Exulting Jesus in Luke by Thabiti Anyabwile. Jesus is not our model; He is our substitute. YASSS!
Eve in Exile by Rebekah Merkle. I cannot stand books on womanhood. Until now. Merkle takes aim at flawed perspectives of womanhood (both conservative and liberal) and argues for a gloriously Biblical perspective instead. Refreshing and encouraging. This is the only book on womanhood I would buy by the case and hand out.
Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee. Scout returns home, and...Whoa...I didn't see that coming!
Blaggard's Moon by George Bryan Polivka. Genuinely fun read, reminiscent of  the Wingfeathers. I. loved. this. book.
Legend of the Firefish by George Bryan Polivka. First book in a fun trilogy following Blaggard's Moon.

Winged Watchman by Hilda van Stockum. A read-aloud for my children, the poignant ending made me cry. As in, I had to collect myself before I could continue.
Bonhoeffer by Eric Metaxes. Wonderfully readable bio of an amazing man. "On the positive side of things, Heydrich was dead. At the end of May, the albino stoat had been ambushed by Czech resistance fighters while he was riding in his open-topped Mercedes. Eight days later, the architect of the Final Solution fell into the hands of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob." (404). Most delicious set of sentences I think I have ever read. 
Miracles on Maple Hill by Virginia Sorensen. Meh.
God's Smuggler by Brother Andrew. Good again!
Identity Theft edited by Melissa Kruger, et al. Series of essays on a woman's identity. Pretty good.
Take Courage by Matt Chandler.
Seventeenth Swap by Eloise McGraw.
The Hand that Bears the Sword by George Bryan Polivka. Book two in the trilogy.
Mere Christianity by CS Lewis. Fourth time through. Best of Lewis's non-fiction.
The Art of Turning by Kevin Deyoung.

Twelve Marks of Great Literature by Jeff Baldwin. Not as helpful as I had hoped.
Storm-Tossed Family by Russell Moore. I loved this book, which essentially covers the gamut of family issues from cradle to grave. Moore is a great writer, often punctuating with humor. Lots of 'listen to this!' moments with my husband.
No Quick Fix by Andrew Naselli. Dispels the myth that Christians have a separate stage of sanctification, following salvation, in which we really mean it this time. Um, that is salvation. Very good. But a lot of charts that were more clutter than help.
Disciplines of Grace by Jerry Bridges. This was around the time my dad died. I think I may have missed a lot.
Battle for Vast Dominion by George Bryan Polivka. Book Three in the trilogy. Enjoyed!
You Who by Rachel Jankovic. GREAT book on identity and all the self-care garbage we have bought into over the years. Our job is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever, not find our best us. Boom.
Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament by Mark Vroegop. How to find peace in Biblical lament. I found Part Two especially helpful.
Book of Sorrows by Walter Wangerin. Sequel to the Book of the Dun Cow. Very unusual story but very deep and worth another read. I liked it!
Grace Defined and Defended by Kevin Deyoung. Explains the Canons of Dort and why they matter. Maybe only for the theology nerd. But as accessible as everything else Deyoung writes.
Fierce Knights and Faithful Loves (Edmund Spencer's Faerie Queen Book 1) edited by Roy Maynard. The footnotes alone make this worth the read. Great story of a knight, a lady, and a villain.

Sacrifice of Praise by Herman Bavinck.
Fiddler's Green by AS Peterson. Continuation of Fiddler's Gun. I liked the first one a little more.
God and Galileo by David Block and Kevin Freeman. So so so disappointing to read scientists who claim Christ and deny Creation. Do not recommend. But  you're welcome to borrow my copy if you can handle my snarky comments in the margin.
Pray Big by Alistair Begg. Do you ever feel like your personal prayer requests or your church's prayer requests are all about traveling mercies and physical ailments? Does that really match up to the prayers that weighed on the Biblical saints? This is a great reminder to not sweat the small stuff and spend more time on the big stuff. Loved this little book!!!
Longitude by Dava Sobel. How longitude came to be.
So Brave, So Young, and Handsome by Leif Enger. Another amazing yarn spun by the author of Peace Like a River. Two thumbs up!
Jacob Have I Loved by Katherine Paterson. Hard story but second time through because this one really tugs at my heart.
Iliad by Homer. Mrs. Bennet, but I think we may safely boast here sit three of the silliest men in the whole country. What a bunch of egos. Good anyway. ;)
Children's Homer by Padraic Column. I read this aloud periodically and did again this year to my  younger students. I assigned the 'Odyssey' portion  to my high schoolers rather than have them explore Odysseus's adulterous idiocy in the adult version. Extremely well-written.
Sermon on the Mount by Sinclair Ferguson. Anything by Ferguson is encouraging and pastoral, and this was no exception. Highly recommend.

Rise and Fall of Mount Majestic by Jennifer Trafton. Zany fun.
On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness by Andrew Peterson. I do not exaggerate when I say that Wingfeather Saga plus Ferguson's Whole Christ were paradigm shifting for me. Read them, and understand life. I think this is my fourth or fifth time through. I've lost count.
Bark of the Bog Owl by Jonathan Rogers. Fun!
Beyond the Diploma by Beverly Parrish.  Homeschooling has become a pretentious affair in the last 15 years, and all we've got to show for it is a demographic of self-important smart-asses. (Oh stop. I just can't think of a more appropriate word.) Bev is a great personal friend and my original homeschooling mentor. She reminds us here to keep our feet on the ground, remember our original vision for our children, and she provides the nuts and bolts to get it done. I'd hand this one out, too.
Clockwork Universe by Edward Dolnick. The history of the watch. Interesting!
Valley of Vision by Arthur G. Bennett. Good, good prayers that model right praying priorities for us.
Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. Is it too crass to use the word stupid in a book review? How about insipid? Inane? I was embarrassed for the author. Basically, take care of yourself--because you're worth it. Reminiscent of Cybill Shepherd's L'Oreal commercials that made me gag as a teenager. But worse since Hollis claims Christ. Riiiiiiight.
Gospel and Kingdom by Graeme Goldsworthy. God's Kingdom is God's people living in God's place under God's reign. I <3 Goldsworthy! Second time through and I love him even more.
A Time to Die by Nadine Brandes. What if you had a clock counting down days to your demise? What would that do to a society? Not my cup of tea, but definitely an interesting premise! Well-told. If you like dystopian, you might really enjoy this. First in a series.
Macbeth by William Shakespeare. My very favorite Shakespeare! Divided up parts and read as a family. Too much fun!

Grow in Grace by Sinclair Ferguson. Anything by Ferguson, just anything. :)
North! Or Be Eaten by Andrew Peterson. MEGALOVE. Is that a word?
Enchantress From the Stars by Sylvia Engdahl. Even though I don't prefer sci-fi, this one is quite good. Second time through, and I caught even more than I did the first time (though Engdahl is about as weird as they come...)
Inferno by Dante Alighieri. Dante was a Renaissance man, not a believer.  His view of Hell is emphatically not Biblical. But it IS clever. Dante mixes real life pagans, literary pagans, and even some Bible folks into one hellish stew. No one should read Purgatorio (I did. Sigh.), since the very notion of "Purgatory" blasphemes the sufficiency of the Cross. Don't waste your time.
Women's Ministry in the Local Church by Ligon Duncan and Susan Hunt. I have more questions than answers on this topic. I thought maybe Duncan, for whom I have a warm regard and deep respect, might lend clarity. Nope. Do first-century saints gaze down at twenty-first century saints and wonder, How on earth did they get from 'Paul'...to 'Programs'?
Charlotte's Web by EB White. Is there anything more fun that doing all the voices and reading this to your 6 yr old and 10 yr old? And seeing my 10 yr old--who is all boy and all football all the time--genuinely moved by Charlotte was poignant.
Nothing to Hide by Mark Bertrand. Great, gritty, clean crime story, third in a series. I think guys will like this one.
Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Johnson. So much giggling from the kids. We read this almost every year at Christmas time.
Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Annie Barrows and Mary Ann Shaffer. An eye-rolling nod to post-modernity aside, this is an absolutely delightful tale of a British island under German occupation during the war. Hints of Mitford or Miss Read. Gush, gush, gush.

Stay tuned next year for some brand new reads. But remember to put the books down and spend time with your family, too. Happy reading!