Friday, January 5, 2024

Poof! My 2023 Reading List

 Happy New Year! Below find my year in books for 2023. 

But bear with me for a moment...

You will find on my list books by both Kevin Deyoung and Douglas Wilson. I have great respect for both men for different reasons. I read both men quite a bit. Both men have had significant impact on the way I see the world (Wilson on all things family related; Deyoung on pretty much everything else). On the other hand, both men have personal associations that give me great pause. That makes for a level playing field. So when Deyoung posted his Moscow Mood, he did an outstanding job addressing some of my own concerns. BUT, as Proverbs reminds us, one man seems right until another questions him, and, sure enough,  Wilson stated his own case convincingly. Deyoung is right; Wilson should watch his language. Wilson is right; no one will come to the table. While Deyoung and Company have a world-class cancel culture going on regarding anyone in Moscow, it was Wilson who earned the respect, the friendship, and at the end of his life, the confidence of atheist Christopher Hitchens. From where I sit, it looks like Deyoung's camp is good at looking good but Wilson is good at doing good. (See, Kevin, I can do mic drops, too.)

As a believer in Proverbs 18:17 AND as a long-time debate mom, I know how this (should) work. Deyoung stated his case. We'll call it the Affirmative Constructive. Then Wilson gave the Negative Constructive. What is supposed to happen next is that Deyoung gets to rebut. Let's call that the Affirmative Refutation. Wilson, likewise, gets a Negative Refutation. Ideally, each would also get an opportunity to ask clarifying questions of each other in a time of Cross-Examination. Then we, the Church, at this point now as fully informed of each position as we can be, get to decide which way each argument flows. (But Deyoung doesn't just get to shrug his shoulders whimsically in a golly-gee-I-didn't-mean-to-stir-anything-up posture. I can't decide if he is coming off as weak or aloof.) Mic drops don't help the Church grow in Unity or Truth; they just sharpen the splinter. I look forward to both men seeing this through. The Church today needs both men. Meanwhile, I will continue to read books by both Deyoung and Wilson. 

And now, my reads. 

How to Thrive as a Pastor's Wife by Christine Hoover. Sigh. The pastor's wife is not the head of women's ministry. The pastor's wife is not a co-pastor. The pastor's wife is...hang onto your hats...the wife of the pastor. She is her husband's secret service agent who sees the threats while he sees the opportunities. She wears the sunglasses and the wire and watches the calendar, the clock, and the congregation with obnoxious precision. She steps in: Sir, we need to get you into the car now. Where is THAT book on pastors' wives? It's called Don't Let the Door Hit Ya Where the Good Lord Split Ya: A Pastor's Wife's Perspective. That's the book I want to read. Don't make me write it.  

The Two Towers by JRR Tolkien. Because Tolkien.

Things of Earth by Joe Rigney. Sweet reminder of the blessings of the mundane. Common grace. And pumpkin crunch cake. Really great book.

Death by Living by ND Wilson. Good, but not as good as Tilt-a-Whirl. :)

After the War by Carol Matas. The Jews' problems did not end just because the Holocaust did. So sad.

Authentic Ministry by Michael Reeves

Building Her House by Nancy Wilson

The Beekeeper's Apprentice by Laurie King

The Return of the King by JRR Tolkien. Can I just say that the denouement is the most important part of this whole story? I have read this many times, but this was the first time I cried. 

One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Aleksandr Sohlzenitzyn  Who would have thought that a book about the Gulag would give a reader so much encouragement to bloom where you are planted? And it really resonated with one of my kids this year who was experiencing his own squeeze. 

Ordinary by Michael Horton  In a world where it is fashionable to be concerned about the nameless, faceless 'poor and marginalized',  instead of people with an actual name and fingerprint, this is a good reminder that being ordinary leads to real human flourishing. The world doesn't need your quest for clean water; the world needs you to stay in your marriage.

Abusing Memory by Jane Gumprecht, MD. Brett picked this up at a conference. I read it once and scanned it again to maker sure I was reading it correctly. The science of the brain confirms that the brain is not able to bury traumatic memories. 

Peace Like a River by Leif Enger. Some books, every sentence is a joy to read. This is one of those books. 

Red Scarf Girl by Ji-li Jiang. Want to start a revolution? Start by turning the children against the parents. Jiang's autobiography during the Cultural Revolution is chilling. 

Ginger Pye by Eleanor Estes. Fun read-aloud with the 10 yr old.

Adam and His Kin by Ruth Beechick. Meh, kind of weird. 

Notes from the Tilt-a-Whirl by ND Wilson.  The only book I read every year. 

The Tempest by William Shakespeare.

Wednesday Wars by Gary Schmidt.

Just David by Eleanor Porter. 

Beside Still Waters by Charles Spurgeon. There is nothing like affliction in ourselves or others to reveal the wrong, weak, or weird theology in ourselves or others. No wonder Job was grumpy. Spurgeon was a cup of cool water to my soul. 

Don't Be True to Yourself by Kevin Deyoung. Nailed it. 

A Visual History of the Modern World. This book weighs about twenty pounds. But very good!

The Princess and the Goblin by George MacDonald. Read-aloud

The Innocence of Father Brown by GK Chesterton. I love Father Brown. 

In the House of Tom Bombadil by CR Wiley. Wonderful little read on Tolkien's most mysterious character.

Fight by Flight by Joel Webbon. No. Just all kinds of no. If you are leaving a place because the economy is bad, you don't like the politics, or it poses a threat to your family, just say so. But don't spin it like you're loving a place by leaving it. Bad eschatology. Bad exegesis. Just bad, bad, bad. 

At Home in Mitford by Jan Karon. If you want a curl up by the fire and read book, this is it. 

The Aeneid by Virgil. I don't care if you sing of arms an-zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

My Life for Yours by Douglas Wilson. Wilson shines on all things household related. But I would like to know if there is anything he doesn't file under First Order orthopraxy. What about Romans 14? Does everyone have to do it like he does? That aside, I really liked this book.

Phantastes by George MacDonald. Reminds me of Spencer's Fairie Queen. I liked it, but Spencer was better. 

Genesis in Time and Space by Francis Schaeffer. It was good to get back to Schaeffer. Really good.

The Universe Next Door by James Sire. A good book on the history of worldviews. 

Thinking God's Thoughts: Johannes Kepler and the Miracle of Cosmic Comprehensibility by Melissa Travis. This was the most beautiful, doxological book I read this year. It was a 'listen to this!' book. It was a 'my eyes were wide and my jaw was in my lap' book. I can't do it justice here, but it is based on Kepler's belief that God left hints of Himself in the cosmos for us to find, and Kepler's search to do just that. Just beautiful.

The Blue Train by Agatha Christie.

On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness by Andrew Peterson. Dare I say it? I find that Wingfeather Saga to be at least as powerful story as...Narnia. I'll just leave that there. And I read it every few years.
 
Men and Women in the Church by Kevin Deyoung. Excellent treatment of his topic, as usual.

Daughter of Time by Josephine Tey. Just what happened to those young boys in the Tower of London?

The Disciple-Making Parent by Chap Bettis. Brett and I both lost old friends to deconstruction this year. Not that we didn't see it coming in either case, but it's a tough pill to swallow nonetheless. One of the major signs? They failed to recategorize their children when the facts clearly warranted it. Instead of saying, "This child who I thought was in Christ is actually very much still in Adam", they recategorized the child's sin. "If it makes my child happy, how could it possibly be sin?" Whoops. I met Chap at a conference over the summer and we compared notes on what we are seeing in the Christian family these days, namely the prevalence of The Prodigal. Bettis' thesis is that the Great Commission is our parenting instruction. Brett and I have long thought the very same thing. Heartily recommend!!! 

Praise Her in the Gates by Nancy Wilson.

Eve in Exile by Rebekah Merkel. While Jen Wilkin is concerned about 'power structures in the church' (insert disdainful eyeroll here; I'm so over Wilkin), Merkel actually wrote the best book on womanhood I have ever read.

Blood Brothers by Elias Chacour. I picked this up again after the October 7th Hamas attack. Chacour was a Palestinian kid in 1948 who is now a pastor. He saw how Israel did it wrong. And he loves Jesus. So his perspective is worth the read. But it also too easily veers into liberation theology. So read it for another side. But bring the salt. 

Worldliness by CJ Mahaney, et al. I assigned this to my high schoolers this year, and then we read Strangely Bright by Joe Rigney for a complete breakfast. Good to read the two back-to-back.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. A favorite of mine since I was a kid. 

Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen. Such a fun read, especially back to back with Bronte!

The Lost Grizzlies by Rick Bass. A man's story about his passion to restore the grizzly population in the Colorado Rockies. 

North! Or Be Eaten by Andrew Peterson. The journey continues...

Monday, July 10, 2023

Letting Go--A Simple Protocol for Mothers and Mothers-in-Law

She'll take the painting in the hallway, the one she did in junior high.
And that old lamp up in the attic--she'll need some light to study by.
She's had 18 years to get ready for this day.
She should be past the tears; she cries some anyway.
Oh, oh, letting go. There's nothing in her way now.
Letting go, there's room enough to fly.
Even though she's spent her whole life waiting, it's never easy,
Letting go.*

Our son got married last week, bringing the total of married children to five (thus far). I've been thinking a great deal this past year about 'letting go' and what that should look like. High school graduation, in our house, is our first glimpse. Then they go out on their own--sniff.  But there's nothing quite as final as marriage because now a new covenant has been created--one that doesn't include us at all. When a child says "I do" to their love, they also say "Goodbye" to us. But we aren't always as good at saying goodbye to them. We might say it in theory, but we aren't good at saying it in practice. The problem is that what feels to us like our affectionate hand on their shoulder feels to them like a grip on their ankle, like Uncle Andrew grasping at Polly and Digory on their way to the Wood-Between-the-Worlds. But if a woman is to leave her home and a man is to leave his father and mother, then it can be inferred that parents must let that woman and that man go. Since this is harder for moms than for dads, here's the short, simple protocol I have developed over the past nine years as a mom-to-marrieds.

DO recognize that, while you are the despot of your home, your daughter and daughter-in-law are the despots of their homes. This is a biblically-sanctioned household governmental role, and you need to respect it. You must decrease, and she must increase. Your realm will soon shrink to just you and your husband. Your realm, in no possible way, extends to your adult children and their children. 
DO realize that the household that just formed is not a church plant from the mother kirk; it is an entirely independent household. 
Do NOT issue requests. Even nicely phrased ones like, "I'd like you to spend your holidays with us/ visit our church/meet our social circle/ call you Aunt Betty" are assertions of an authority that no longer exists and, therefore, a power play. Don't do this.
If the married daughter/daughter-in-law lives far away, do NOT complain to her. It is possible that she is missing you, in which case you just made her homesick. It is also possible that she is enjoying the distance, in which case you just made her claustrophobic. 
Do NOT visit for the maximum amount of time. When you leave, she should wish you'd stayed longer rather than wish you'd left sooner. 
If the married daughter/daughter-in-law lives locally, do NOT invite yourself over or show up unannounced at her door. This is the despot's domain, and her own home should be the safest place of all from your encroachment. 
Do NOT share one adult child's news with another adult child. Do NOT talk about your relationship to one adult child with another adult child. Your children are not your support group. 

Brett has a simple protocol for relating as a father to his married daughters:
Do NOT inquire about your girl's emotional issues, relational issues, spiritual issues, physical issues. This kind of intimacy is out-of-bounds. First of all, Dad, she already has a husband; it is his job to bear her burdens. Second, you already have a wife and maybe children still at home. It's your job to focus on them. Think of this like being a confidante to another man's wife. Totally inappropriate. 

Likewise, there is a simple protocol for mothers of married sons:
Do NOT be a burden to your boy. Do not share your emotional issues, relational issues, spiritual issues, physical issues with him. This kind of intimacy is out-of-bounds. First of all, you already have a husband; it is his job to bear your burdens. Second, your son has a wife and children. It is his job to focus on them. Think of this like confiding in another woman's husband. Again, entirely inappropriate. 

I couldn't sum it up better than author and podcaster Nancy Wilson (mom to 3 and grandmother to 18). "You had your chance; now be quiet."** That's my mantra.
I had my chance; now be quiet.
I had my chance; now be quiet.
I had my chance; now be quiet. 
(And, dads, don't be passive. If your wife isn't doing a good job letting go, step in. Brett reminds me when I am encroaching. That's not just good advice; that's a relationship saver.)

If, at this point, you're thinking of all the ways you've blown it with your adult kids, be of good cheer. That is going to happen! Just ask their forgiveness, and resolve not to encroach again. If you aren't sure, put on your thick skin and get a progress report. I sat down with two of my married daughters a couple months ago to do just that. It was extremely helpful to all of us. 

The evidence is in, ironic as it may be.
Hold on, even loosely, and you will create distance.
Let go of your kids, and they will come back to you as friends.
It' so worth it!

Mother sits down at the table, so many things she'd like to do,
Spend more time out in the garden. Now she can get those books read, too.
She's had 18 years to get ready for this day. 
She should be past the tears; she cries some anyway.
Oh, oh, letting go. There's nothing in the way now.
Letting go,  there's room enough to fly.
Even though she's spent her whole life waiting, it's never easy,
Letting go.

p.s. My husband loved this post and feels like it is important to get this message out. So if you found this helpful for yourself or you think it would be helpful to someone else, would you please share this post on your social media account? Thanks!

*Bogguss, Suzy. Letting Go. 1991
**Wilson, Nancy. Building Her House. Canon Press.2006.

Saturday, April 15, 2023

In Relentless Pursuit of Truth

I have long thought that book 5 of the Harry Potter series, Order of the Phoenix, is the best story of the bunch. It is the story of the pursuit of truth in the face of opposition, scoffing, and calculated attack. It is the story of what witchcraft actually, scripturally is: rebellion. Namely rebellion against Truth. Rebellion doesn't like Truth and seeks to either silence it or twist it. 

Sounds a lot like the current decade...

Truth, to be Truth, must satisfy certain criteria. 

Truth must be transcendent. It must come from outside ourselves. And our consciences testify to that fact.

Truth must be objective. It must be the same for all people in all places. If your truth doesn't apply to me, it's not Truth.  

Truth must be unchanging. Truth must have been true in the beginning and will still be true in the end. There is no such thing as either dead Truth or new Truth. 

Truth must be impervious. We can jump up and down and throw rocks at it all day long, but Truth neither has feelings nor cares about ours. 

Therefore, for a position on any issue to be Truth, it must be transcendent, objective, unchanging, and impervious. Or to state it negatively, if it's not transcendent, objective, unchanging, and impervious, it's not Truth. 

John Adams once said that facts are stubborn things.
So is Truth. 

Tuesday, January 31, 2023

Books, Books, Books: My 2022 Reading List

Well, in spite of completely deleting my social media presence almost two years ago (Nothing went wrong. My marriage is happy; my kids are happy. We continue to amass weddings and grandbabies...), people still read last year's reading list.  That's amazing to me! And while I have not blogged faithfully in a couple years, I do have a few ideas I think might be worth a post or two, so stay tuned. But for now, here's my 2022 reading list. At forty-five books long, it's one of my shorter ones. I'm not sure why I didn't read as much this past year. But, hey, January of 2023 is almost over, and I have five books done already so that bodes well for the reading year ahead. 

And without further ado...

The Winter King by Christine Cohen. A fantasy civilization. A book of guidance that the elite rulers take great pains to hide from the ordinary reader. The corruption and misery that result. Huh. What does that sound like? Fun read!

The Majesty of Mystery by Scott Oliphant Like an old pastor used to say, do you really want a God small enough for you to completely understand? So good. 

Andrew and the Firedrake by Douglas Wilson Kill the dragon; get the girl. I loved the premise, but the story was more intriguing to my 9 year old than myself. Not quite as brilliant as The Man in the Dark.

Johnny Tremain by Esther Forbes This was a dutiful read-aloud. I wish it was one hundred pages shorter. 

Notes from the Tilt-a-Whirl by ND Wilson Sighhhhhh. Still my favorite book and annual read. It never gets old. My husband is finally reading it along with all my margin notes. :)

Reflections on the Revolution in France by Edmund Burke Burke was watching the French Revolution closely from across the Channel. College kids should be required to read this. Shoot, college professors should be required to read this. 

That Hideous Strength by CS Lewis I think this was my second time through. I hated the Space Trilogy the first time it was forced on me. Now that I'm an adult reading for my own growth, I find it absolutely fascinating. 

The Things of Earth by Joe Rigney John Stonestreet once mentioned that the old hymn got it wrong, that as we turn our eyes upon Jesus, the things of earth should grow strangely bright, not dim. Rigney's book seeks to prove just that. Despite David Platt's cuckoo radicalism, it's actually a good thing to enjoy the things of earth as good gifts from our Father in Heaven. 

Leepike Ridge by ND Wilson Totally wicked ride. A great adventure mystery story. It's his best fiction!

Saints, Sinners, and Sufferers by Michael Emlet. Meh.

Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe Second time through, this time with my high schoolers. They balked at the conveniently happy ending, but I loved it again. 

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by CS Lewis Can you read Narnia too much? Nah. 

Prince Caspian by CS Lewis

Rip Van Winkle and Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving Do you realize how little dialogue there is in these stories? No wonder they made them movies. So much potential. So little realized in the written form. 

Huntingtower by John Buchan Best spy author ever. I just love everything he writes. 

Voyage of the Dawn Treader by CS Lewis

Les Miserables by Victor Hugo  Jean Valjean is simply the best, better than all the rest, better than anyone, anyone I've ever met...Anyway...It was fun to discuss this time through with my high schoolers. And they were disappointed in the musical afterword because it left so much out. 

The Silver Chair by CS Lewis

The Horse and His Boy by CS Lewis

Silmarillion by JRR Tolkien Didn't love it. But as a LOTR fan, I read it. 

What Grieving People Wish You Knew by Nancy Guthrie A friend of mine lost her son in May in a motorcycle accident. Not having a clue what to say or do, I found Guthrie's book extremely helpful. 

The Great Divorce by CS Lewis Like the Space Trilogy, I don't remember enjoying this one the first time through. But this time it was fascinating. I'm still not ever going to read Til We Have Faces again. And you can't make me. 

Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder I hate this series. Loathe. Despise. Abominate. But I read this one to my 9 yr old. If he wants to read the rest, he is welcome to. My job is done here. 

100 Cupboards by ND Wilson Fun but weird. 

The Magician's Nephew by CS Lewis

The Light from Behind the Sun by Douglas Wilson In which Wilson attempts to argue that Lewis is reformed. Uh, no. 

The Awakening of Miss Prim by Natalia Fenorella This is a BEAUTIFUL book. Just absolutely lovely and probably the best fiction I have read in a long, long time.

Nathan Coulter by Wendell Berry Good, though I think I'm done with Berry for a while.

Such a Mind as This by Richard Smith A book on the biblical theology of thinking. I have never read anything like it. It traces epistemology--how we know--from the garden, through the fall, the Wisdom books, Job, and the Teacher of Ecclesiastes. Absolutely fascinating!

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr Meh.

The Abolition of Man by CS Lewis Chapter two. My head hurt. This is one of those little books that you can glean something from every time you read it. 

Being the Bad Guys by Stephen McAlpine Like it or not, believers have been pushed to the margin. But the Church being taken seriously by the world has historically been the exception, not the rule. And now, as we head back to being social outsiders, it's important to understand how to embrace that to God's glory. I assigned this to my teens after I read it. It's that important. 

A Severe Mercy by Sheldon VanAuken A marriage with a sappy, ridiculous, idolatrous agreement. And then they get saved. Whoa. 

The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self by Carl Trueman If you want to know why the world seems to have lost its mind, Truemen offers a scholarly thesis. Heady stuff. Well-documented. It's hard work but worth the read. I finally get it. 

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald What other end should we expect for the self-absorbed?

All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Remarque I love this book. The horrors of war and using boys as chess pieces for little despots in big houses. Makes me mad.

Animal Farm by George Orwell When you're done reading about the effects of tyranny on warfare in All Quiet, you can read about tyranny in the suburbs here. 

The Intimate Marriage by RC Sproul Good, not great. Still nothing out there to rival Wilson's Reforming Marriage. 

Rejoice and Tremble by Michael Reeves I just love Reeves. And this book about the fear of the Lord was another great one by him. 

Learning to Love the Psalms by Robert Godfrey Being rather left-brained, I readily admit to being utterly lost in the psalms. Godfrey's book did, in fact, help me to understand and even begin to love the psalms. 

The Fellowship of the Ring by JRR Tolkien This will probably be my last time reading it aloud, as I am going through it with my 9 yr old. It's a different experience reading it aloud, but I am still finding qoutes for my commonplace book. 

Dracula by Bram Stoker WHY have I never read this before? I loved this story so much. So much good vs. evil. So much heroism. Loved, loved, loved. 

Skipping Christmas by John Grisham Made me laugh out loud. Again. 

The Dawn of Redeeming Grace by Sinclair Ferguson

Live Like a Narnian by Joe Rigney I think Narnia can speak for itself. Nevertheless, Rigney pulls out some really wonderful insights.

Til next time, may you have books on your nightstands, quotes in your commonlplace books, and heroes to emulate. Happy reading in 2023!

Monday, January 10, 2022

Poof! My 2021 Reading List

 I am so late in getting out my reading list from last year that I have already started my reading list for this year! Here's how it went in 2021:

Atypical Woman by Abigail Dodds
The Plague by Albert Camus
Parcel of Patterns by Jill Paton Walsh
This was the second of three books on the plague I read this year and definitely the most interesting. 
A Little Book of the Christian Life by John Calvin
A Taste of Sabbath by Stuart Bryan
102 Minutes by Jim Dwyer and Kevin Flynn
In honor of 9/11, I read this one. A minute-by-minute account inside the World Trade Towers that morning. 
Otto of the Silver Hand by Howard Pyle
United by Trillia Newbell
Don't get me wrong; Trillia Newbell is an infectiously joyful person. But I've been in very international churches and very American churches, and I haven't spent a moment thinking about their demographic makeup. I'm not quite sure why this is so important to Newbell.  
Notes from the Tilt-a-Whirl by ND Wilson
Fourth (?) annual read of one of my favorite books EVER.
The Hawk and the Dove by Penelope Wilcock
The trilogy following the life of Father Peregrine is sweet and one of my all time favorites. My copy is starting to show the wear!

The Wounds of God by Penelope Wilcock
The Long Fall by Penelope Wilcock
Exodus Old and New by L Michael Morales
I just love Biblical theology and the storyline of Scripture. (Thank you, Graeme Goldsworthy and Greg Beale!) This book was one of a couple I read along those lines. 
The Dead Don't Dance by Charles Martin
Maggie by Charles Martin
Othello by William Shakespeare
Economics: A Free Market Reader edited by Jane Williams and Kathryn Daniels
Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund
If 2 Timothy 3:17 is to be believed--and it is--Christian therapy is a contradiction in terms. So I was more than a little nervous reading this until chapter 7. But then, wowza. He anchored it Biblically. Good read!
Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson
A Learned Treatise on the Plague by Theodore Beza
I'll just say this. Covid and the Bubonic plague are apples and oranges. I'll take covid any day. 

Fault Lines by Voddie Baucham
Between the World and Me by Ta'nahesi Coates
The difference between Baucham's book and Coates' book? If Baucham were to retract everything he said, the theses in Fault Lines would still stand. They are based on facts--quite thoroughly documented facts. If Coates were to retract everything he said in his book, the theses in Between the World and Me would collapse. They are entirely based on feelings. 
Rebels and Exiles by Matthew Harmon
Another Biblical theology
Out of the Silent Planet by CS Lewis
Not a sci-fi fan, but the Space Trilogy is more than just talking trashcans...
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by JK Rowling
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by JK Rowling
The Lord's Prayer by RC Sproul
A Place on Earth by Wendell Berry
Vindicae Contra Tyrannos by Junius Brutus
Food for thought when the State refuses to stay in its lane 
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by JK Rowling

Jesus Wins by Dayton Hartman
Are you pre-mil? post-mil? clueless? Me, too. This tiny little book was great at laying out different end time views found among gospel Christians
Evidence Not Seen by Darlene Rose
Rose was a missionary wife turned POW in the Pacific Theater. It was a tough read. She was an amazing woman. Her testimony is gripping and encouraging. 
Perelandra by CS Lewis
Silas Marner by George Eliot
I <3 Silas Marner. 
Republocrat by Carl Trueman
Good book for those who think that to be a Christian and to be a Republican are the same thing. 
Confessions by Augustine
This was one of those books that I know I missed tons of. 
Alone Yet Not Alone by Tracey Leininger
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by JK Rowling
Contentment by Nancy Wilson
Ben and Me by Robert Lawson

The Color of Compromise by Jemar Tisby
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by JK Rowling
True Companion by Nancy Wilson
Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift
Live Not By Lies by Rod Dreher
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by JK Rowling
Boys of Blur by ND Wilson
Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
Popes and Feminists by Elise Crapuchettes
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling

The Dawning of Indestructible Joy by John Piper
Watch for the Light by various
The Bible


Monday, January 11, 2021

2020 Reading List

 2020.

Well, that was silly. 

Ironically, I read less in a year of lockdown than I did in most other years. First, I consciously focused on gathering because it was 2020 that made me realize that gathering is a large part of what we are made for. Second, I found it really hard to focus. I read many paragraphs multiple times this year. I did manage to get through these, though...

Purloined Boy by CR Wiley. Looked good. Didn't really move me.

Conceiving Parenthood: American Protestantism and the Spirit of Reproduction by Amy Laura Hall. If you told me I was going to agree with an ordained female universalist Methodist minister, and on theological grounds, no less, I, who am a complementarity Calvinist, would have said you lost your mind. Boy was I wrong! In the opening years of the Twentieth Century, 'the baby' became a demographic in its own right; it was all downhill from there. Families were sold a bill of goods about the 'ideal' family, two children, three at most, all 'properly' nourished, 'properly' educated, and 'properly' under a doctor's care. 'Hygiene' was teh magic word. Family planning--and all the ugliness that entails--was the inevitable result, with a population of nervous mothers on the verge of breakdowns. Fascinating read!

Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen. Austen at her satirical best. 

Notes from the Tilt-a-Whirl by ND Wilson. Third annual read. Gets me in the right frame of mind every January.

Thirty-nine Steps by John Buchan. The first in the series about the escapades of Richard Hannay. I love a good spy novel, and Buchan is the best.

Adorning the Dark by Andrew Peterson. Not gonna lie, artistic communities weird me out. But Peterson cautiously wins me over enough that I recommended it to a few artistic friends.

Fellowship of the Ring by JRR Tolkien. Because Tolkien.

Monster in the Hollows by Andrew Peterson. I cried. Fourth (maybe fifth?) time through. I know how it ends. And I cried. Again.

Stuff Matters by Mark Miodownik. A series of essays on man-made materials from concrete to porcelain to chocolate. Miodownik is a materials engineer and entertaining writer, to boot.

Man in the Dark by Douglas Wilson. Romantic mystery. 

Bomb by Steve Sheinklin. Page turner about the race to build the bomb and the ensuing spy activity.

Two Towers by JRR Tolkien.

Murder in the Rue Morgue by Edgar Allen Poe.

Different Shade of Green by Gordon Wilson. Neither a virulent tree-hugger, nor a virulent capitalist, Wilson finally makes the intelligent case for conservation.

Return of the King by JRR Tolkien. This is the first time I actually read the appendices. After multiple, did-you-know's to Brett, he felt compelled to remind me this was fiction. Dork. 

Right Behind by ND Wilson. Laugh out loud funny.

Classical Me, Classical Thee by Rebekah Merkle.

Gospel and Kingdom by Graeme Goldsworthy. LOVE this book and the two others in the trilogy. Great again!

Nine Tailors by Dorothy Sayers. A Lord Peter Wimsey mystery! I love Lord Peter!

Coronavirus and Christ by John Piper. My first thought was, do we really need a whole book about this? But, actually, it was really good. 

Glass Houses by Louise Penny. Not particularly thrilled with the last two Gamache books. Read on. 

Whose Body? by Dorothy Sayers. Lord Peter's first mystery. 

The Warden and the Wolf King by Andrew Peterson. Oh, my heart.

Kingdom of the Blind by Louise Penny. So done with Penny. If it weren't a library book, it would be in the garbage where it belongs. 

Letter to My Son by Jasmine Holmes. Facts are more useful than feelings, but if you want to hear the heart of a black woman for her black son, this is a really good book. I gave it out many times. 

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte. Third time. I can finally see why this is a classic. 

Beautifully Distinct by Trillia Newbell, et al. Love Newbell, but I was hoping for deeper, I guess. 

The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien. Because it was time to introduce the 6 yr old to Bilbo.

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. One of the best American novels. I have no idea how many times I've read it. And this year, Brett and I each, independently of each other, ordered another copy before it gets banned. 

Knowing Scripture by RC Sproul. How to, and not to, read scripture correctly. A gem. 

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by CS Lewis. Because it was also time to introduce the 6 yr old to Narnia.

Prince Caspian by CS Lewis.

Moby Dick by Herman Melville.It's about a whale. Or is it?

Voyage of the Dawn Treader by CS Lewis.

Beowulf. Heroes and monsters. What's not to love?

The Silver Chair by CS Lewis.

Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis. Eerily relevant in 2020.

How the Nations Rage by Jonathan Leeman. BEST book on political worldview ever. My high schoolers have to read it for government. 

Rolf and the Viking Bow by Allen French. Too long. Land the plane already.

Out of the Silent Planet by CS Lewis. Not a big sci-fi fan, but this one is really great.

The Man Who Was Thursday by GK Chesterton. Super fun adventure. 

The Horse and His Boy by CS Lewis.

Door in the Wall by Marguerite D'Angeli.

Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry. Sweet story, sweet, sweet ending. Classic Berry.

New Testament Biblical Theology by GK Beale. This was my magnum opus this year. I love the preaching ministry at church and regard that as my corporate Bible study. But personal Bible study is just that for me: personal. It took me most of the year to work through this book, and it absolutely changed my perspective. I was blessed!

Even Better Than Eden by Nancy Guthrie. Traces nine biblical themes. Very, very good. 

Fidelity by Wendell Berry. Sweet short stories about the folks in Port William.

Treasure at Glaston by Eleanor French. Could have been a fun adventure. Way too mystical, I edited as I read it out loud.

Once and Future King by TH White. One of my all-time favorites. Whimsical and sad. 

Magician's Nephew by CS Lewis.

Flags Out Front by Douglas Wilson. What ensues when a prankster flies the Christian flag higher than the American flag outside a Christian school. Too funny. 

According to Plan by Graeme Goldsworthy. Bibical theology.

Death by Living by ND Wilson. If there was a philosophy we all needed in 2020, it was this. 

Repeat the Sounding Joy by Christopher Ash. A book about Advent that I read all year. Lovely.

Confessions of a Food Catholic by Douglas Wilson. By all means, make your own food rules for your family. But Managers of Their Homes should be able to at least articulate this perspective. Both informative and snort-a-french-fry-out-your-nose funny. 

The Ten Commandments by Kevin Deyoung. What would a year in reading be without a Deyoung? One of my favorite blogger/theologians.

The Last Battle by CS Lewis. Just kidding. I hate this book. I hate Tashlan. This is Lewis at his worst and why you always have to read him with buckets of salt. For the first time, I skipped it entirely.

Happy 2021. May there be better news and good books. 


Tuesday, April 14, 2020

Laugh: Thoughts on Living with Uncertainty

I heard someone say this week, "If we are going to put our faith in things other than Christ, the smallest thing possible--a virus--will shake that to the core."

In the wee hours of yesterday morning, Easter morning, we went through the house waking the children and telling them to assemble downstairs. We were under a tornado warning. My six-year-old sat in my lap and put his head on my shoulder. "I'm scared," he whispered. I did not know how to console him; I could not make promises I had no power to keep. But I rubbed his back and prayed silently, "You are the Author of Calamity, and You are able to do whatever You will. I am asking for your mercy. I am asking if you would keep us safe." Twenty minutes later the storm had passed. We were unharmed.

But I have been chewing on the unusual timing. Here we are in the middle of a worldwide quarantine. And you can't seek storm shelter and social distance at the same time. Legitimately huge or unfortunately overblown, God has used this little virus to bring the whole planet to its knees. And then He sent the storm that sent us scurrying for cover where there was little to be found. From Texas to North Carolina.

Can you hear me now?

Funny. On the one hand, Italy and New York City have been hit extremely hard by this virus. On the other hand, we are a month into this, and zero people in my social circle have told me they tested positive. I am not here implying that I have omniscience over the health of every single person of my acquaintance. But, thus far, there is no stigma associated with the virus and, therefore no reason for me to think people are being furtive. And I am not the only one. Zero? A month in?  In different locales?

Funny. On the one hand, I am told that half the people who have it are asymptomatic. On the other hand, responsible science should prevent us from making claims we do not have the ability to verify. Maybe everyone who has the virus is symptomatic. We. do. not. know. And we can not know.

Funny. On the one hand, I stand six feet back during my necessary excursions into the grocery store as a way to respect the fearful and vulnerable. On the other hand, I stand six feet back because this might be legit.

Funny. On the one hand, our family obeys the civil magistrate because that is what believers do. On the other hand, this is a jurisdictional travesty of Kuyperian proportions. Civil government protect personal liberties and punish infringers of said liberties; self-government takes personal responsibility.

Not quite as funny. On the one hand, we keep reminding each other that the second greatest commandment must inform our behavior. Enough already; we get it. It's one thing to present the second commandment for our consideration as we live in this time; it is another thing entirely to position ourselves as the final arbiters of what it actually means to love our neighbor. On the other hand, I have not seen one person present the greatest commandment for our consideration at this time. Not. a. single. soul.

So, yeah, I know little for certain. But I am certain of this:
On the one hand, Jesus is Lord over quarantines and diseases, tornadoes and tyrants. The nations rage, and the Lord laughs. On the other hand, Jesus is Lord of His Creation and of His nation, the Church, and we laugh with Him.

The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law. Deut. 29:29

So laugh at the days to come.
And if you're not laughing? You might just need to repent.

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

But If Not

We interrupt my next planned post to bring you an important message.

One of my adult kids texted me. Romans was really good!
I smile. Indeed it is.
Another one sat at the kitchen table last month and looked up from a meditative silence. You know what's a really good book?
I'm thinking Enger. Or Lee. Or Dostoyevsky.
Galatians.
My 10-year-old is saying with increasing frequency, Wow! I read something like that in the Bible this morning!
My 17 yr old just finished the whole Bible for the first time. That was really good, she exclaimed.
Two enthusiastic thumbs up? I tease. Maybe God will ask you to blurb His next edition.
My heart is warm all over. My children are becoming People of the Book. And I am humbled by God's work in this quiet suburban home.
Because ideas have consequences. And little minds and hearts informed by scripture grow up to make choices and take positions based on the True Ideas of scripture.

Don't think that's important? Read on, Lizzie.

Did you see the news coming out of Bethel "Church" over Christmas break? Let me fill you in.

On December 14, two-year-old Olive Heiligenthal passed away suddenly. Her parents, who are on staff at Bethel, kept her body in the morgue for five days while they prayed for her resurrection. Now I have never buried a child. I cannot, can not, imagine that kind of soul-searing suffering. But I do have a healthy regard for scripture and for the need to read it with great care. It is a sword, after all, and one does not simply go swinging swords about. Jesus did NOT raise people from the dead to be our model. He raised the dead to demonstrate His Lordship. Over every square inch. Over every last enemy.

In short, I have nothing but contempt for the theology of Bill Johnson because Bill Johnson has nothing but contempt for the theology of God. I wonder what will happen on Judgment Day to people who make a shipwreck of other people's faith. *coughrecklesslovecough* I want to be a fly on THAT wall.
Oh, where have you gone, Billy Boy, Billy Boy?
Oh, where have you gone, charming Billy?

Tomorrow you will have pink eye.
I could never believe in a God who makes eyes itch. And the tear duct goop is an added insult. 
The Apostle Paul: God made your eyes. Can He not make them pink? (ND Wilson, Notes from the Tilt-a-Whirl, 32)

Dare I say it?
Yes, I dare.
Boom, baby.

Why am I so passionate about this idiocy now? Don't worry; I nearly bolted out of my chair the day sweet Olive's story hit the headlines. Trust me, I was passionate about it on December 15. But now, it's personal. Last week, we received the double-whammy of bad health news from both sides of our family. Part of me is bummed. Bummed that the sadness of  2019 was fading, and life has to get dicey again. Bummed at pain and sickness. Bummed that living in this fallen world can suck sometimes. Billy Boy would beg to differ. Billy Boy thinks we can be healed if we have enough faith. As in, if I don't get healed--and keep healed--it's MY fault. As in, God needs my faith to make His power work. Ah well, small minds have room only for small gods.

When my son Jake hears people waxing stupid about the sovereignty of God, he gets a glint in his eye. He smirks. He quips, "Oh I see. God's sovereignty ends where my sovereignty begins."
God's sovereignty. So simple, a college freshman can understand it.
But not a charlatan preacher.
Billy Boy will not rob me of resting in God's sovereignty.

And Brett reminded me that there is also golf and pork belly and Montana. There are date nights and family and Wingfeathers. Right there in the middle of bad reports. Common graces that God sends just in time to carry us through. But Billy Boy can't see goodness in calamities.
Billy Boy will not rob me of resting in God's goodness.

And I've a good mind to tell Billy Boy where he can put his bad theology and his angel feathers and his gold dust. But this is a family blog.

Blessed be Your Name when the sun's shining down on me,
When the world's all as it should be, blessed be Your Name.
Blessed be Your Name on the road marked with suffering.
Though there's pain in the offering, blessed be Your Name.*

I'm learning the power of lament. And I want my kids to learn it, too. I want to protect them from the Bethel Koolaid. When I lay me down to sleep, and when I lay my six-year-old down to sleep, we pray.  'Lord, we ask that you would heal them,' we pray, the six-year-old and I. 'But if not, we still love You. And we know that You still love us, and that You still love them.'

But If Not.
The theology of Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego.
The theology of Job.
The theology of Amos.
The theology of the Potter and His pots.
But If Not is the theology of the saints of ages past and ages to come.
But If Not is the theology of People of the Book.
But If Not is the theology of God.

Dear Refuge of my weary soul, on Thee when sorrows rise,
On Thee when waves of trouble roll, My fainting hope relies.
To Thee I tell each rising grief, for Thee alone can heal. 
Thy Word can bring a sweet relief for every pain I feel.**

When those who profess to be God's people reject His word, they can expect God's wrath. (Tabletalk)
Rock on with your bad self, Billy Boy. (Me)

Meanwhile, all God's people say:
But if not, God is still sovereign and still good. The Author of Calamity is still working everything together for my good and His glory.

And all God's people said,
AMEN.

The next post will begin shortly. Please stand by.
--------------
*Blessed Be Your Name, Beth Redman, Matt Redman, 2002.
**Dear Refuge of My Weary Soul, Anne Steele, 1760.

Friday, January 3, 2020

Books! 2019 Reading List

Happy New Year. 59 books. Let's jump right in.

Notes from the Tilt-a-Whirl by ND Wilson. Second annual reading. One of my favorites. Ever. Ever ever.
Before the Door by ND Wilson. Fun prequel to 100 Cupboards. And if you are a regular Wilson reader, you might be surprised by some of the dots he connects here!
Man in the High Castle by Philip Dick. Blech.
Unceasing by Susan Macias. An encouraging reminder to keep praying, no matter how old they get!
Triumph of the Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy.
Exulting Jesus in Luke by Thabiti Anyabwile. Jesus is not our model; He is our substitute. YASSS!
Eve in Exile by Rebekah Merkle. I cannot stand books on womanhood. Until now. Merkle takes aim at flawed perspectives of womanhood (both conservative and liberal) and argues for a gloriously Biblical perspective instead. Refreshing and encouraging. This is the only book on womanhood I would buy by the case and hand out.
Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee. Scout returns home, and...Whoa...I didn't see that coming!
Blaggard's Moon by George Bryan Polivka. Genuinely fun read, reminiscent of  the Wingfeathers. I. loved. this. book.
Legend of the Firefish by George Bryan Polivka. First book in a fun trilogy following Blaggard's Moon.

Winged Watchman by Hilda van Stockum. A read-aloud for my children, the poignant ending made me cry. As in, I had to collect myself before I could continue.
Bonhoeffer by Eric Metaxes. Wonderfully readable bio of an amazing man. "On the positive side of things, Heydrich was dead. At the end of May, the albino stoat had been ambushed by Czech resistance fighters while he was riding in his open-topped Mercedes. Eight days later, the architect of the Final Solution fell into the hands of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob." (404). Most delicious set of sentences I think I have ever read. 
Miracles on Maple Hill by Virginia Sorensen. Meh.
God's Smuggler by Brother Andrew. Good again!
Identity Theft edited by Melissa Kruger, et al. Series of essays on a woman's identity. Pretty good.
Take Courage by Matt Chandler.
Seventeenth Swap by Eloise McGraw.
The Hand that Bears the Sword by George Bryan Polivka. Book two in the trilogy.
Mere Christianity by CS Lewis. Fourth time through. Best of Lewis's non-fiction.
The Art of Turning by Kevin Deyoung.

Twelve Marks of Great Literature by Jeff Baldwin. Not as helpful as I had hoped.
Storm-Tossed Family by Russell Moore. I loved this book, which essentially covers the gamut of family issues from cradle to grave. Moore is a great writer, often punctuating with humor. Lots of 'listen to this!' moments with my husband.
No Quick Fix by Andrew Naselli. Dispels the myth that Christians have a separate stage of sanctification, following salvation, in which we really mean it this time. Um, that is salvation. Very good. But a lot of charts that were more clutter than help.
Disciplines of Grace by Jerry Bridges. This was around the time my dad died. I think I may have missed a lot.
Battle for Vast Dominion by George Bryan Polivka. Book Three in the trilogy. Enjoyed!
You Who by Rachel Jankovic. GREAT book on identity and all the self-care garbage we have bought into over the years. Our job is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever, not find our best us. Boom.
Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament by Mark Vroegop. How to find peace in Biblical lament. I found Part Two especially helpful.
Book of Sorrows by Walter Wangerin. Sequel to the Book of the Dun Cow. Very unusual story but very deep and worth another read. I liked it!
Grace Defined and Defended by Kevin Deyoung. Explains the Canons of Dort and why they matter. Maybe only for the theology nerd. But as accessible as everything else Deyoung writes.
Fierce Knights and Faithful Loves (Edmund Spencer's Faerie Queen Book 1) edited by Roy Maynard. The footnotes alone make this worth the read. Great story of a knight, a lady, and a villain.

Sacrifice of Praise by Herman Bavinck.
Fiddler's Green by AS Peterson. Continuation of Fiddler's Gun. I liked the first one a little more.
God and Galileo by David Block and Kevin Freeman. So so so disappointing to read scientists who claim Christ and deny Creation. Do not recommend. But  you're welcome to borrow my copy if you can handle my snarky comments in the margin.
Pray Big by Alistair Begg. Do you ever feel like your personal prayer requests or your church's prayer requests are all about traveling mercies and physical ailments? Does that really match up to the prayers that weighed on the Biblical saints? This is a great reminder to not sweat the small stuff and spend more time on the big stuff. Loved this little book!!!
Longitude by Dava Sobel. How longitude came to be.
So Brave, So Young, and Handsome by Leif Enger. Another amazing yarn spun by the author of Peace Like a River. Two thumbs up!
Jacob Have I Loved by Katherine Paterson. Hard story but second time through because this one really tugs at my heart.
Iliad by Homer. Mrs. Bennet, but I think we may safely boast here sit three of the silliest men in the whole country. What a bunch of egos. Good anyway. ;)
Children's Homer by Padraic Column. I read this aloud periodically and did again this year to my  younger students. I assigned the 'Odyssey' portion  to my high schoolers rather than have them explore Odysseus's adulterous idiocy in the adult version. Extremely well-written.
Sermon on the Mount by Sinclair Ferguson. Anything by Ferguson is encouraging and pastoral, and this was no exception. Highly recommend.

Rise and Fall of Mount Majestic by Jennifer Trafton. Zany fun.
On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness by Andrew Peterson. I do not exaggerate when I say that Wingfeather Saga plus Ferguson's Whole Christ were paradigm shifting for me. Read them, and understand life. I think this is my fourth or fifth time through. I've lost count.
Bark of the Bog Owl by Jonathan Rogers. Fun!
Beyond the Diploma by Beverly Parrish.  Homeschooling has become a pretentious affair in the last 15 years, and all we've got to show for it is a demographic of self-important smart-asses. (Oh stop. I just can't think of a more appropriate word.) Bev is a great personal friend and my original homeschooling mentor. She reminds us here to keep our feet on the ground, remember our original vision for our children, and she provides the nuts and bolts to get it done. I'd hand this one out, too.
Clockwork Universe by Edward Dolnick. The history of the watch. Interesting!
Valley of Vision by Arthur G. Bennett. Good, good prayers that model right praying priorities for us.
Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. Is it too crass to use the word stupid in a book review? How about insipid? Inane? I was embarrassed for the author. Basically, take care of yourself--because you're worth it. Reminiscent of Cybill Shepherd's L'Oreal commercials that made me gag as a teenager. But worse since Hollis claims Christ. Riiiiiiight.
Gospel and Kingdom by Graeme Goldsworthy. God's Kingdom is God's people living in God's place under God's reign. I <3 Goldsworthy! Second time through and I love him even more.
A Time to Die by Nadine Brandes. What if you had a clock counting down days to your demise? What would that do to a society? Not my cup of tea, but definitely an interesting premise! Well-told. If you like dystopian, you might really enjoy this. First in a series.
Macbeth by William Shakespeare. My very favorite Shakespeare! Divided up parts and read as a family. Too much fun!

Grow in Grace by Sinclair Ferguson. Anything by Ferguson, just anything. :)
North! Or Be Eaten by Andrew Peterson. MEGALOVE. Is that a word?
Enchantress From the Stars by Sylvia Engdahl. Even though I don't prefer sci-fi, this one is quite good. Second time through, and I caught even more than I did the first time (though Engdahl is about as weird as they come...)
Inferno by Dante Alighieri. Dante was a Renaissance man, not a believer.  His view of Hell is emphatically not Biblical. But it IS clever. Dante mixes real life pagans, literary pagans, and even some Bible folks into one hellish stew. No one should read Purgatorio (I did. Sigh.), since the very notion of "Purgatory" blasphemes the sufficiency of the Cross. Don't waste your time.
Women's Ministry in the Local Church by Ligon Duncan and Susan Hunt. I have more questions than answers on this topic. I thought maybe Duncan, for whom I have a warm regard and deep respect, might lend clarity. Nope. Do first-century saints gaze down at twenty-first century saints and wonder, How on earth did they get from 'Paul'...to 'Programs'?
Charlotte's Web by EB White. Is there anything more fun that doing all the voices and reading this to your 6 yr old and 10 yr old? And seeing my 10 yr old--who is all boy and all football all the time--genuinely moved by Charlotte was poignant.
Nothing to Hide by Mark Bertrand. Great, gritty, clean crime story, third in a series. I think guys will like this one.
Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Johnson. So much giggling from the kids. We read this almost every year at Christmas time.
Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Annie Barrows and Mary Ann Shaffer. An eye-rolling nod to post-modernity aside, this is an absolutely delightful tale of a British island under German occupation during the war. Hints of Mitford or Miss Read. Gush, gush, gush.

Stay tuned next year for some brand new reads. But remember to put the books down and spend time with your family, too. Happy reading!

Saturday, June 15, 2019

The Magnificence of Ordinary--For My Dad

This is my first Father's Day since Dad died.

Dad died. It has been four weeks, and as I type that and see it in print, it is still surreal to me.
Anyway, I've never been much of a fan of Hallmark holidays. But I loved my Dad, and I am acutely aware that I am heading into this day missing the Key Ingredient.

Dad was the most compassionate person I have ever met. Bar none. He had a capacity to weep with those who weep unlike any I have seen.  I have memories of him weeping upon receiving bad news about people he never even met. He stewarded that gift well, as he carried other people's burdens, feeling what they felt, coming alongside them, or lifting them up in prayer.

He was also the most opinionated person I have ever met, generally sorting the world into the Right and the Stupid. If you knew him, you're laughing because you know it's true. And if you know me, you're laughing because you're realizing, "Oh, that's where she gets it." As Brett says in his worst redneck accent, "The apple don't fall far from the tree."

And since I am that unfortunate combination of all of his passion plus none of his compassion,
And since we often strongly disagreed on what was Right and what was Stupid...
Suffice it to say, we had a feisty relationship.

Dad is the reason I care about politics and theology. Oh, we usually had the same Ends in mind. It was the Means where it got...exciting. Eventually, we just stopped talking about politics. It wasn't worth it. As for theology, well, we both love the Lord, so to stop talking about that was like asking us both to stop breathing.

We both cared passionately about the Lord.
We both cared passionately that our children walk with Him.
We both cared passionately that the Church behave like the Church.
But our different understandings of Grace and God's sovereignty led us to conflicting conclusions about what a mature Christian or a healthy church look like.
What he considered of primary importance, I considered secondary. What I considered primary, he considered secondary.
Yep. It got exciting sometimes.

Yet I owe my Dad a great debt. He led me to the Cross. He preached the gospel to me. He prayed with me to receive Jesus. He took me to church. He put his foot down against youth group and public school. When Brett came along, Dad inspected him for me. And across thirty-plus-years-and-counting of my marriage and eleven children, he interceded for us. He was always asking how he could pray for us. And it recalls to mind growing up, how I would see him pacing in the family room early in the morning praying--more like conversing--with the Lord. He was enthusiastic about our parenting choices and probably more informed on threats to home education, both foreign and domestic, than I was.

In the days after Dad's death, the recurring theme was:
Your Dad was like a father to me.
It is not hyperbole to say that I have lost count of how many times that was said.

To me, he was just Dad. The guy who was just there. There every night after work. There at the dinner table. There, loving his wife and raising his kids like he genuinely enjoyed it. The guy who told really awful jokes, like The Pig with the Wooden Leg. The guy who would hug you goodbye--and then leave you his papal blessing. And the guy who loved us and told us so.

That was ordinary to me. I thought it was the ordinary experience. I am starting to see that, to lots of other people, it was not ordinary. It was magnificent. And so now I must concur.

It was.
It was magnificent.
It was magnificent to have a dad who was there; who was engaged and enthusiastic; who prayed for me and rooted for me; who loved me and told me so.

And today, I am missing that magnificence more than I can express.

Thursday, April 11, 2019

Barnyard Funk

Brett took me to a wine tasting class a few years ago for date night.  We learned about Old World wines and New World wines and how to swirl and sniff and sip. Admittedly unschooled in the ways of wine, the oddest thing I learned was all the flavors you are supposed to be able to pick up in a glass of wine. You might get a hint of pepper. Or flowers. Or berries.

Or barnyard funk.

Come again? What, pray tell, is barnyard funk? Well, barnyard funk, as it turns out, has essence of exactly what you might expect to find in a barnyard. Oh.

I would never make it as a sommelier.

Not long ago, my Bible reading brought me here:
You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the Lord. 

I was not surprised by the content. This is emphatically biblical. I was surprised at the context. This is Leviticus 19:18. Leviticus. A book about laws and regulations and mildew and hair and parapets and birds. (Please, please don't get me wrong. I love Leviticus, and if you don't roll your eyes or yawn your way through it, you will discover it is truly magnificent. Give it some respect.)

If I were to sum up Leviticus in one sentence it would be this:
An inherently unclean and unholy people--which we forget to our peril--are drawn into covenantal relationship with an inherently clean and holy God--which we also forget to our peril.

Bearing grudges is our uncleanness and unholiness showing.
To put a New Testament spin on this, bearing grudges is withholding grace.
Loving our neighbor as ourselves is God's cleanness and holiness showing.
Loving your neighbor as yourself is bestowing grace.

Let's face it, fam. Sometimes we don't do reconciliation well. Sometimes we settle for truces. I agree never to discuss 'it' again if you agree never to discuss 'it' again. We extend a precise and peevish forgiveness and settle for an unstable peace. And suddenly our relationship looks like an exercise in geopolitics.

So basically we serve up barnyard funk. Yeah, technically it's wine. But it tastes like dirt and manure. No thanks, I'll just have a glass of vinegar. At least the vinegar has health benefits.

I was talking to a friend who is smarting from a relational hurt, and she mentioned needing to get past it. But I thought maybe she was settling for a truce when the aim is reconciliation. What she has now is a cease-fire. What she wants is fellowship.

I have taken a long journey in my growth in grace. I have withheld grace. I have been suspicious of grace. And I have extended grace. I have learned the power of grace, given. But I have also learned the power of the void where grace should be but is not.
It is septic. Putrefactive. Toxic.

Take forgiveness. You can extend all the technical forgiveness you want. But if there is not an accompanying grace, things in your presence will begin to die. Starting with yourself. Spreading to your marriage. Your family. Your friends. Your community. Because the people around you may not be sommeliers who can swirl and sip and identify barnyard funk. But they can sure smell the manure.

The good news is that while the absence of grace kills, the presence of grace makes things flourish! Starting with yourself. Spreading to your marriage. Your family. Your friends. Your community.

Technical, graceless forgiveness can, I suppose, get you to the Lord's Table. But don't for a moment think that barnyard funk is what we taste at the Lord's Table. We get the good stuff. Because He only serves the good stuff.

My friend texted me after our conversation. She said it was the push she needed to seek reconciliation. And she's moving forward. Stay tuned for fellowship and flourishing!

How about you?
Are you settling for barnyard funk?
Or are you ready for the good stuff?

Monday, March 25, 2019

It Was Always the Plan

We interrupt this Lenten season to bring you an important message about the Incarnation...

She will bear a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins. Matthew 1:21

The Incarnation is a mammoth topic. Wayne Grudem says this about it:
"It is by far the most amazing miracle of the entire Bible--far more amazing than the resurrection and more amazing even than the creation of the universe. The fact that the infinite, omnipotent, eternal Son of God could become man and join himself to a human nature forever, so that infinite God became one person with finite man, will remain for eternity the most profound miracle and the most profound mystery in all the universe." (Grudem, 563)(emphasis mine)

So when I was asked to speak on it last December, I had a hard time keeping it manageable. My research overwhelmed me. It was a little like saying, "Boil the ocean. You have thirty minutes. Go!" But then I found that book-ending the Incarnation with Genesis and Revelation kept it simple and taught me some powerful things.

Genesis 3. Let me set you up. The snake has just slithered into Eden and succeeded at turning Eve's heart against the Creator. Satan knows it; Eve knows it; God knows it. Enter God, stage right:
So the Lord God said to the serpent, 'Because you have done this, Cursed are you above all livestock and all wild animals! You will crawl on your belly, and you will eat dust all the days of your life. And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; He will crush your head, and you will strike His heel.' Genesis 3:14-15
This is what the Big Picture Story Bible calls A Very Sad Day. (When I read this to my kids, I always mimic the mice from the movie Babe saying, "A very sad day...") My family would call this Trash Talk. This is what we do when we are making our NFL picks, and we're saying, When my team gets done with your team, your team isn't gonna know what hit them. And it's all done in jest and good humor.

But God doesn't talk trash. And what He said on this very sad day is not in good humor and most certainly not in jest. Picture this. God, who has just been defied by Eve--she knows it, and He knows it--has just walked into the garden, stepped in front of her, and faced off with the snake. She is ashamed but looking over God's shoulder. God is putting His finger in the snake's chest.

It's the heroic heart of a Father:
You messed with my girl.
It's the romantic heart of a Husband:
You messed with my Baby.
His Father/Husband heart comes roaring in to reveal the Plan:
You're going down, snake. And I'm going to use her to do it.

Thus begins the history of the only two lines of humanity there have ever been: those in Adams vs. those in Christ. God covenants. And the people, in gratefulness for this covenant, return the favor by making lousy covenanters, lousy judges, lousy priests, lousy kings.

God sends prophets. God sends enemies. Then God sends nothing. Silence. For four hundred years. The United States isn't even four hundred years old. That's a long silence.

Suddenly...
And the Word became Flesh and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14

I love how the Big Picture Story Bible puts it:
So Caesar, the Roman ruler, the king of the whole Roman world, began counting all his people to show everyone how great he was. What Caesar did not know was that...[sic] God, the world's true ruler, the king of the universe, was getting ready to show everyone how great He was...
And do you know how God was going to do this? Not like Caesar...[sic] not proudly, by counting all his people, but humbly, by becoming one of his people. (Helm, 237-40)

While Caesar was showing how great he was by counting his people, God was showing how great He was by becoming one of His people. 
Sweet.
God promised to crush the snake in Genesis.
Jesus fulfilled that promise as God Man at the cross.

And now let's fast forward to the future to see what Revelation tells us about the Incarnation.
The beast was given a mouth to utter proud words and blasphemies and to exercise its authority for forty-two months. It opened its mouth to blaspheme God and to slander His name and His dwelling place and those who live in heaven. It was given power to wage war against God's holy people and to conquer them. And it was given authority over every tribe, people, language, and nation. All inhabitants of the earth will worship the beast--all whose names have not been written in the Lamb's book of life, the Lamb who was slain from the creation of the world. Rev.13:5-8
Here we are in the future, and the beast--I mean, the snake--I mean, the devil--is still running his mouth. He's still inciting people against God, and he's still succeeding. Adam's line, the serpentine line, is alive and well among every nation, tribe, and tongue.
Except...
Those whose names have been written in the Lamb's book of life, the Lamb who was slain from the creation of the world.

And there you have it. God waits until the last book of the Scripture to reveal His hand. The Lamb was slain from the creation of the world.  The Incarnation was not God's plan B. The Incarnation was not God wringing His hands at The Fall and going back to the drawing board.
The Incarnation was always the Plan, because Atonement and Redemption were always the Plan.

So let's go back to Matthew 1:21. If you're like me, you probably read it with this emphasis:
She will bear a son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will SAVE His people from their SINS.

Might I suggest that when we read it that way, we miss the point entirely?
Might I suggest that the point is more properly rendered with this emphasis?
She will bear a son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He WILL save HIS people from their sins.

The Cross has a 100% success rate. ALL the people Jesus died for will be saved. Kevin DeYoung puts it this way: "He did not die to make you merely saveable; He died to make you saved."

If your name is written in the Lamb's book of life, you have been loved, definitely, particularly loved, from the creation of the world. And Jesus was incarnated to come and get you
That was always The Plan. 

One more thing.
It would be a shame if we confined the Incarnation to a manger. And December. And Luke 2.

Because our hearts need this:
Come, Desire of Nations, Come, Offspring of the virgin's womb.
Rise the woman's conquering seed; bruise in us the serpent's head.
Adam's likeness now efface; stamp Thine image in its place.
Final Adam from above, reinstate us in Thy love. *
in every month and every scripture.

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Sources:
With much gratitude to RC Sproul, Ligon Duncan, and Kevin DeYoung, whose sermons/blogs I leaned on heavily in my Incarnation study. If there was anything amazing in this post, it was most likely because of their work.

Grudem, Wayne. Systematic Theology. Intervarsity Press, 1994. p. 563.

Helm, David. Big Picture Story Bible. Crossway, 2004.
Ladies, if you don't own a Big Picture Story Bible, you need to get one. No serious sheologian would be caught without it. And then you need to read it in one sitting. And then you need to read it to your kids. Rinse and repeat. 

*Hark! The Herald Angels Sing, Mendelssohn, Felix, 1739.

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Of Tuna Fish and Sunlight

Last night we saw a lunar eclipse, a celestial show put on by the Lord to display His glory. Every fifteen minutes or so, we would walk outside and watch the earth gradually overshadow the bright moon until its white had turned pink. The greater light and the lesser light dancing in the sky. And my daughter three hours away was watching the same things. Admission: free.

Lunar eclipses are science. So is entropy. And inertia and nuclear fission and the laws of planetary motion and brain surgery. Science is good.

In the other corner, we have 'science': macroevolution and global warming and psychotherapy (emphasis on psycho) and time travel. Call it 'quantum mechanics' if that makes you feel smart and legitimate, but tuna fish in an easy-to-swallow gel cap is still fishy. And you find the Virgin Birth troublesome? Pardon my mirth.

I am no scientist. I am, however, a born skeptic, and my battle cry has always been, "Prove it." Majorities mean nothing to me. When four out of five dentists agree, it's that other one who has my attention. One day, there will be a grand reshuffling, and all the 'science' masquerading as science will be shouted from the rooftops and summarily kicked out. Oh Glorious Day.

There is much in God's creation that is worthy of our respect. Great white sharks and grizzly bears and icebergs and Kilimanjaro. But 'harmful'? As in, with intent to harm me? Um, no. And you would all agree, yes?

How about sunlight? Worthy of our respect? Sure. Harmful? Um, no. But scientists agree! Sunlight is harmful! Slather yourself with sunscreen! Wear your large-brimmed hats and sunglasses! Better yet, just don't go outside!

Um, no.
And I say that even as I keep an eye on a couple dermatological spots of my own.

Well, well, well. Enter dermatologist Richard Weller of the University of Edinburgh. Turns out, kids, that sunlight gives us vitamin D.
Yawn. Yeah, tell us something we didn't know. I take a million grams a day in a gel cap.
Um, no.
Turns out again, kids, that your gel cap does next to nothing. You actually have to absorb vitamin D through your skin from the sunlight.
And turns out yet again, that absorbing said D via sunlight does a few good things for you:
1. reduces risk of cancers like prostate, breast, colorectal, and pancreatic
2. improves circadian rhythm
3. reduces inflammation
4. dampens autoimmune responses
5. 'reduces virtually every mental condition you can think of'
6. lowers blood pressure
7. improves moods

But four out of five dermatologists....
Melanoma, you know?
So get this. People out in the sun can get melanoma--AND THEY ARE EIGHT TIMES LESS LIKELY TO DIE FROM IT.
'Dermatologists'...

And I quote: "Avoidance of sun exposure is a risk factor of similar magnitude as smoking, in terms of life expectancy."* In other words, you can give up sunshine, or you can take up smoking. And the days ordained for you will protest, Big diff.

I knew it! I knew it, I knew it , I knew it!!! I've always watched in horror as people slather on sunscreen at the rate of a bottle per outing. But I couldn't say anything. Four out of five dentists, blah, blah, blah....

Truth be told, I don't care about the science--or even the 'science.' What really yanks my chain is when people call something God made 'harmful' Yank, yank, yank. What matters most to me is that a good Creator gave us a great big ball in the sky not just for His glory but for our good. I would expect nothing less.

And who are you, o dermatologist, to call good evil and evil good?
Enjoy your tuna fish; as for me and my house, we're going outside to play.

God made two great lights, the great light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night; He made the stars also. God placed them in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth, and to govern the day and the night, and to separate the light from the darkness; and God saw that it was good. Genesis 1:16-18
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*Data and quotes in this post taken from:
Jacobsen, Rowan. Is Sunscreen the New Margarine? Outsideonline.com. January 10, 2019.

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Books! 2018 Reading List

My year in books:

A Trick of the Light by Louise Penny. More wonderful Inspector Gamache.
Notes from the Tilt-a-Whirl: Wide-Eyed Wonder at God's Spoken World by ND Wilson. I loved this book, lovedlovedloved. This was the best book I read all year, and I already have it on my stack to begin tomorrow as my second annual read. Beautiful.
This Changes Everything by Jacquelle Crow. Really good challenge to teens to live like gospel-informed believers now, not 'when they grow up.'
The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I did my duty. They heard one Ingalls read-aloud. Can I quit now?
Cry the Beloved Country by Alan Paton. Beautiful book.
The Beautiful Mystery by Louise Penny. Dragged a little.
Dead Wake by Erik Larson. Fantastic book about the sinking of the Lusitania.
Nature of the Beast by Louise Penny.
Peace Like a River by Leif Enger. It was only February, and I was certain this would be the second best book I will have read all year.
Back on Murder by J. Mark Bertrand.
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn. Bloom where you're planted. Even if you're planted in the Gulag. Wow.
David Livingstone by John Hudson Tiner. I am puzzled and saddened by a man who would sacrifice his family for evangelism and exploration. Not impressed.
Red Scarf Girl by Ji-li Jiang. Tough but good autobiography of a young girl in the Cultural Revolution
Mary Slessor: Queen of Calabar by Sam Wellman
The Wednesday Wars by Gary Schmidt. A boy comes of age during the Vietnam War with the help of an English teacher and a little Shakespeare. Loved this book and want to read more by Schmidt.
The Tempest by William Shakespeare
Three Hostages by John Buchan. Buchan! Yes!
First They Killed My Father by Loung Ung. Ung recounts her own story of living through Khmer Rouge. One of those necessary reads but excruciatingly sad.
That Hideous Strength by CS Lewis. Really enjoyed the first in the trilogy, Out of the Silent Planet. Pressed through Perelandra; did not really get it. Then on to enjoyable That Hideous Strength. A few words, I think, are necessary on Lewis. His stories are mostly interesting, but read him theologically with a bucket of salt. Great writer, not a great theologian. He was also an evolutionist, and no one who doubts God right off the blocks can be taken seriously as a theologian.
Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson. Well, just rip my heart out and stomp that sucker flat.
Hope Was Here by Joan Bauer.
Read-Aloud Family by Sarah McKenzie. Good how-to's on developing a family read-aloud culture. A little mystified by some of her book titles. I recommend The Hand That Rocks the Cradle by Laurie Bluedorn for that. Laurie has never steered me wrong.
Dragon Tooth by ND Wilson. Second time through; this time I 'got it'; much better!
How the Nations Rage by Jonathan Leeman. When American Christians write guides to politics, I always get the impression that they started with their presuppositions and then prooftexted them resulting in insufferable, moralistic tripe. Then along came Leeman. He starts with how God covenantally relates to both the believer and the nonbeliever, and we get this gem. If you are looking for a guide on how Americans should engage in politics, this is the best out there.
Conscience by Andrew Naselli. Great exploration of weak and strong consciences, training the conscience, and how all these consciences live together in community called the Church. I had a serious learning curve on this one.
Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech.
Lord Tony's Wife by Baroness Orczy. More Scarlet Pimpernel!
The Drowned Vault by ND Wilson.
Confidence by Stephen Nichols
The Great Reckoning by Louise Penny
The Whole Christ by Sinclair Ferguson. This was THE paradigm shift of the year for me. Left me sitting in my Snake Garden, just smiling and amazed at Who Jesus is and what He did for me.
Many Waters by Madeleine L'Engle. Weird book written by a weirder chick. By the time I was halfway through, it was the author, not the plot, that was on trial. Would she be faithful to the Biblical text? Meh.
The Prayer That Turned the World Upside Down by Al Mohler
Empire of Bones by ND Wilson. Finale of the Ashtown Burials trilogy. Really odd sci-fi but really profound spiritual truths as only Wilson can write. I'm a big fan.
City of God by Augustine. Started as an Augustine skeptic but ended an Augustine fan. Helpful to remember that Augustine didn't have a Luther to build upon, but as my daughter-in-law Linda reminds me, he was a pioneer.
Killer Angels by Michael Shaara. What if you could get inside the heads of the major players at Gettysburg? Couldn't put it down.
Getting the Gospel Right by RC Sproul. ECT was an gospel catastrophe, and the ensuing Gift of Salvation didn't clarify anything. Sproul takes both to task for their sloppiness, and points us to scripture for clarity, truth, and precision.
Indianapolis by Lynn Vincent. True story of the sinking of the USS Indianapolis and the tragic legal events that followed. Maybe not the best book for the mother of a naval officer to read, but I couldn't put it down.
Transforming Grace by Jerry Bridges
Birth of a New Physics by Bernard Cohen. Read everything but the last chapter. Just couldn't slog through anymore.
Wingfeather Tales edited by Andrew Peterson. Members of the Rabbit Room take a crack at the world of the Igibys. Good but should read the Saga first so you have context. That last tale. Wow.
Sir Percy Hits Back by Baroness Orczy
Cheaper by the Dozen by Frank Gilbreth, Jr., and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey. Love. But this time, I bought my own copy and struck through the offensive language with a dark pen, of which there is quite a bit, so stay on your toes if you do it as a read-aloud.
Prodigal God by Tim Keller.
The Green Ember by SD Smith. Had the privilege of seeing Smith, a funny and gentle soul, speak in the spring. This first in a series is a sweet eschatological treatment of good v. evil for the littler ones.
Long Way Gone by Charles Martin
Worldly Saints by Leland Ryken. Liked this book more than I thought I would. The Puritans have gotten a bad wrap forever. But Ryken uses oodles of primary sources to demonstrate who they really were, for better or worse. Recommend!
Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God by Jonathan Edwards. Easily the best sermon ever preached, this was assigned to me in high school, and it profoundly impacted me then. It aligned with the God of the Bible far more than any sermon I had heard in any of my churches. I think I probably became reformed in that moment. Read it again this year since my high school sophomore had to read it, and I regret not assigning it to all of my previous students. Love, love, love.
The Scandal of Father Brown by GK Chesterton. Read the Father Brown books; do NOT waste your time on the horrid Netflix series.
Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan.
Understood Betsy by Dorothy Canfield Fisher
This is Our Time by Trevin Wax. Good book on millennial issues.
Island of Sheep by John Buchan. Great!
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. Fourth time. Brilliant story that follows its worldview to its logical end
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson
Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry by Mildred Taylor. Growing up black in the Great Depression south. Heart-warming and heart-wrenching.
Deadliest Monster by Jeff Baldwin. There is Christianity and there is everything else. Coexis.
Pattern of Wounds by J. Mark Bertrand. Continuing the story of Back on Murder.
In the Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson by Betty Bao Lord. Cute.
Cross-Centered Life by CJ Mahaney.
Fiddler's Gun by AS Peterson. Man, those Brothers Peterson can write, though this is nothing like Wingfeather Saga. Similarly thoughtful, however. Really, really liked it though I need to read the conclusion in Fiddler's Green, so stay tuned for my 2019 reading list. ;)

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Let Us Press On to Know the Lord

What shall I do with you, O Ephraim?
What shall I do with you, O Judah?
For your loyalty is like a morning cloud
And like the dew which goes away early.
Therefore I have hewn them in pieces by the prophets;
I have slain them by the words of My mouth;
And the judgments on you are like light that goes forth.
For I delight in loyalty rather than sacrifice,
And in the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.
But like Adam, they have transgressed the covenant;
There they have dealt treacherously against Me. Hosea 6:4-7

Most of my book loving friends will be familiar with Anne Lamott, the dreadlock-wearing, uber-progressive author who made headlines with her conversion story many years ago. I know I was surprised. And although she credits a friend of hers, she's also famous for saying:
You can safely assume you have made God in your own image when it turns out that He hates all the same people you hate.
Amen, sister.
But let's take the whole coin and look also at the other side:
You can safely assume you have made God in your own image when it turns out He loves all the same things the world loves. (I John 2:15)

CCM artist Lauren Daigle made headlines of her own this week with her admission that she "doesn't know" if homosexuality is a sin. The quick backstory is that Ellen DeGeneres invited Daigle to sing on her show. And the two women are friends. Who wouldn't want to be friends with Ellen? She's cute as a button and funny as all get out.

She's also gay. So scriptural teaching on homosexuality is causing Daigle some real angst, as it should, once you realize that there are real flesh and blood people you love and that the implications here are horrific. If you can't picture a person you know when you read Leviticus 18 or 1 Corinthians 6, you might not get out enough.

Here's the problem, though, with Daigle's reticence to commit (unless she is truly unschooled in the Word, which I have a hard time believing, considering her lyrics, which are basically sound): Deconversion.

Deconversion is essentially shorthand for: I have weighed Truth in the balance and found it wanting.

What shall I do with you, O Ephraim?
What shall I do with you, O Judah?
For your loyalty is like a morning cloud
And like the dew which goes away early.

Deconversion starts with questions.
Last spring, I printed off the above link on Deconversions and crawled through it with my high schoolers. I asked them if they ever had questions about scripture, if they ever had a hard time with anything they ever read in the Word. They were reluctant to say, so I shared that I did have questions. There are things in the Bible that have offended me, that I have had to wrestle with.

But my starting point is that the Word is holy, inspired, and inerrant. So if I am offended or confused or unconvinced, the error always lies with me, not with the scripture. The only other starting point is that error lies in the Word, and it must be made to submit to Truth as I understand it. One person questions the Word from beneath it; one questions from above.

Therefore I have hewn them in pieces by the prophets;
I have slain them by the words of My mouth;
And the judgments on you are like light that goes forth.

Questioning the Word from underneath makes a woman humble.
Questioning the Word from above make a woman a heretic.

Two things I have learned as a parent. Maybe they will help you, too.

First, it is extremely important to let our kids struggle with the Word of God. You do not want your kid to believe It--whatever It is--just because you believe It. Trust me on that. Wrestling over the Word builds spiritual muscle, and spiritual muscle is a good thing. But it is also extremely important that they wrestle from underneath the Word rather than above it. We want them to love and trust the Word because they love and trust the Author.

Second, teach your kids to press on to know the Lord.
Let me qualify that. Theologian Cornelius Van Til correctly says, exegeting Romans 1, that there are only two types of people:
1. Those who know God and love Him because they have been delivered out of darkness and into His marvelous light.
2. Those who know God and hate Him.
So there is no question that, at bottom, all of our kids know God. The question is whether they love Him or hate Him. But assuming they love Him...

Teach them that God's Word is the final arbiter of Truth. We don't weigh It in the balance; It weighs us.  Teach them that when they encounter things in scripture that are counter-intuitive--and they will; boy howdy, they will--that's their flesh speaking. Teach them to bang their head on that passage until God makes it real and true to them.*

To be sure, there are secret things that belong to the Lord. There will always be some things that God holds close to the breast. He is God. That is His prerogative. But there are other things that have been revealed to us, and they are for us and for our children to know.

For I delight in loyalty rather than sacrifice,
And in the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.
But like Adam, they have transgressed the covenant;
There they have dealt treacherously against Me.

What is the antidote to transgression and treachery? Loyalty (I stand with You) and the knowledge of God (I think like You). Knowing the Lord will help us be nuanced where God is nuanced and straightforward where God is straightforward. Not knowing the Lord puts us at risk of making God in our own image, an image that hates what He loves AND loves what He hates.

Lauren Daigle needs to press on to know the Lord, but she is just representative of the rest of us.
We need to press on to know the Lord, too.
And so do our children.

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*I believe it was John Piper who said this, but I can't find the link, so I want to be both careful and cautious in giving credit.